Walking in my shoes: The Beginning of My Story

Prologue: The Return

The airplane descended slowly over the brown winter landscape of Gauteng.

From the window I could see the familiar grid of roads, the dusty suburbs, and the distant skyline of Johannesburg fading into the horizon. It should have felt like coming home.

Instead, it felt like returning to uncertainty.

Six months earlier my wife and I had boarded a plane in the opposite direction, leaving South Africa for Saudi Arabia with a clear plan. We had signed a two-year contract. If we completed it, we would return with enough savings to buy a house and cars outright—something that takes most South Africans a lifetime to achieve.

For the first time in years, it seemed that stability was within reach.

But life rarely follows the plans we make.

Circumstances beyond our control cut the contract short. Six months after arriving in the Middle East, we found ourselves on another long flight back to South Africa—our future once again uncertain.

At least the trip had not been entirely in vain. Those months abroad allowed us to pay off our debts and escape debt counselling, a burden that had weighed heavily on us for years.

Still, as the aircraft wheels touched the runway, I knew that we were returning to the same country that had forced me to seek work abroad again and again.

This was the seventh time I had come back to South Africa hoping that things would finally work out.

Seven attempts to build a life at home.

Seven times believing that perhaps this time would be different.

As the plane taxied toward the terminal, I wondered whether this return would finally be the one that worked—or whether it would simply become another chapter in a long story of leaving and coming back again.

What I did not yet know was that the next chapter of my life would not begin in a classroom, a courtroom, or an office.

It would begin with a blank page.

Two years later, unemployed and searching for answers, I would sit down in front of a laptop and begin writing the story of how I arrived at that moment.

That story begins long before airplanes and foreign contracts.

It begins with a boy growing up in Pretoria.

Walking in my shoes

Introduction and Foreword

It has now been several years since the period of life in which I originally began writing these reflections. At the time, I had been unemployed for nearly two years and had a great deal of time to reflect on the path my life had taken.

Writing became a way of making sense of it.

I began putting my thoughts onto paper partly out of frustration, partly out of boredom, but mostly out of a desire to understand how my life had unfolded the way it had. What started as personal reflection gradually became the beginning of a much larger project: telling the story of my life.

At the time of writing those early pages, I felt stuck. It seemed as though my professional life had come to a standstill.

My inability to find stable employment was not because I was unqualified, lazy, or incompetent. My circumstances were shaped by a particular political and historical context: that of a white Afrikaans male in post-Apartheid South Africa, part of a generation living in a country trying to correct the injustices of its past.

For many people of my background, the result was that opportunities at home became increasingly limited.

For years I worked abroad simply to earn a living. In many ways I felt like a modern migrant worker—travelling from country to country to survive economically in places far from home. It was not the life I imagined for myself, but it became the path before me.

My wife and I returned from Saudi Arabia roughly two years before I began writing this introduction. Compared to the economic conditions in South Africa, we were earning what many South Africans would consider a small fortune. Had we been able to complete the full two-year contract, we likely would have returned home able to purchase a house and cars outright—something most people can achieve only after decades of work.

But circumstances beyond our control cut that plan short.

We managed to stay only six months.

Still, those six months allowed us to pay off our debts and escape debt counselling—a situation we had fallen into largely because of underemployment and the low wages teachers often receive in South Africa.

Ironically, the very profession that is meant to build the future of a nation often struggles to sustain those who dedicate their lives to it.

Trying Again

Our return from Saudi Arabia was not the first time I had come back to South Africa hoping that things might finally work out.

It was the seventh time I had returned home believing that perhaps this would be the moment when we could build a stable and sustainable life in our own country.

That did not seem like an unreasonable hope.

Both my wife and I are qualified teachers. I hold three degrees, including a professional law degree. In a country facing deep educational challenges and widespread institutional dysfunction, one might assume that such qualifications would open doors.

But reality proved far more complicated.

My story is one among many similar stories—stories of people who may be qualified and capable yet find themselves excluded from opportunities because of policies such as Affirmative Action and Black Economic Empowerment (BEE). These policies were designed to address historic injustices, yet in practice they often create new forms of exclusion.

For more than two decades I have lived with the consequences of these policies.

Despite personally opposing Apartheid and the inequalities it created, I have found myself living under systems that allow what is legally described as “constitutional discrimination.”

Why Write This Book?

So I began writing.

Partly out of desperation.
Partly out of reflection.
But mostly out of a desire to tell the story of a life shaped by forces larger than myself.

I had tried business ventures, but without capital they never truly gained momentum. Like countless others, I applied for position after position.

Often there was no response at all—not even an acknowledgment that my application had been received.

Over the past two decades I can probably count the replies I received on one hand.

When responses did arrive, the explanations were familiar:

Overqualified.
Under-qualified.
Not enough experience.

Rarely did I even reach the shortlist.

When I did, I later realized that my presence sometimes served another purpose: ensuring that the interview process appeared racially balanced and representative.

In other words, I was occasionally the token white candidate, included more for procedural fairness than for serious consideration.

The True Focus of This Book

Yet this book is not ultimately about political frustration or personal disappointment.

The real story lies in what happened because of those circumstances.

Forced by necessity to seek work beyond South Africa’s borders, I travelled and worked in several countries across the world. These experiences exposed me to cultures, environments, and situations I might never otherwise have encountered.

In a strange way, I sometimes feel gratitude for the forces that pushed me outward.

Had life followed the predictable path, my story might have been very different. I might have married early. I might have become a successful lawyer with a comfortable life—a house, luxury cars, a stable career.

Instead, my life took me across oceans.

I lived far from family.

Far from professional security.

Far from the life I once imagined.

Looking back now, I do not regret that path.

The experiences I gained are ones few people ever encounter.

More importantly, the trials drew me closer to God. Circumstances forced me into a place of complete dependence on Him.

Trials and Hard Seasons

The last decade of my life has been particularly difficult.

During the years my wife and I have been married, nearly half of that time was spent in challenging circumstances. When we worked abroad, financial stability returned. But each time we returned to South Africa, the cycle repeated itself.

Financial uncertainty.

Emotional strain.

Relational tension.

Pain and difficulty often become the tools through which character is refined.

At times we had no choice but to live with our parents and depend entirely on them.

There is something deeply humbling—even humiliating—about returning to such dependence as an adult.

Yet as Christians we tried to see these seasons differently. Trials can become instruments of spiritual pruning, testing faith and patience while shaping character.

Even now I cannot always say with certainty why those circumstances lasted as long as they did.

Part of me wants to blame politics.

Another part believes that God allows such seasons for purposes we cannot fully understand—to shape and mould us into people who reflect Christ more closely.

Difficult path

A Journey of Grace

Ultimately, this story is not one of bitterness.

It is a story of grace.

My life has been both a physical journey across continents and a spiritual journey through ideas, beliefs, and experiences. In searching for truth, I travelled to many extremes before slowly finding balance.

Through every stage, God kept my ship afloat.

My hope is that the disappointed and embittered parts of my story will ultimately be overshadowed by a deeper truth: that God remained the captain of my ship, guiding it even when storms threatened to sink it.

Every patch He placed on the vessel strengthened it.

At times they may be difficult to believe.

Ideas clash.

Experiences challenge everything once believed.

Walking in My Shoes

The title of this book comes from a simple idea.

Before judging someone’s story, try walking in their shoes.

Throughout my life I have encountered critics who felt confident passing judgment on decisions or circumstances they never experienced themselves.

It is easy to judge from a distance.

But unless someone has faced the same pressures, the same limitations, and the same impossible choices, judgment remains shallow.

So before putting on the judge’s robe, I ask the reader to pause.

Imagine yourself in the same situation.

If, after truly considering it, you believe you would have acted differently, I respect that. But unless you have actually walked the road yourself, it is often wiser to leave the judge’s hat at home.

Looking Back — A Later Update

Much has happened since these words were first written.

At the time I began drafting this introduction, I was unemployed and uncertain about what the future might hold. Those reflections capture a specific season of life—a period marked by frustration, searching, and deep personal reflection.

Since then my journey has continued to unfold.

In the years following 2017, my life moved across several countries as I worked abroad in different teaching roles. These years of travel and international work became some of the most formative experiences of my life, exposing me to cultures and places far beyond what I could have imagined as a young boy growing up in Pretoria.

Eventually I began teaching English online, and by 2026 I was working with Skyeng, an international online learning platform. Through this work I have taught thousands of lessons to adult professionals from companies around the world.

Teaching online has allowed me to continue doing what I love—helping people improve their communication skills—while also rebuilding my professional life in new ways.

Alongside teaching, I began developing Henry English Hub, a platform that provides English-learning resources, reading lessons, and guidance for learners and online teachers.

Looking back now, the setbacks that once felt overwhelming gradually became the experiences that shaped both my work and my story.

A Midpoint Reflection

I see this book as a midpoint reflection in my life.

A moment to pause, look back, and record the experiences that shaped me—for better or for worse.

Despite the hardships, I can honestly say that I have lived a good life.

There have been disappointments, failures, and long seasons of uncertainty. Yet there have also been extraordinary experiences and adventures that few people ever encounter.

This book will tell those stories honestly.

At times they may shock.

But my commitment throughout remains simple:

To tell the truth.

Setting Out

The journey you are about to read begins in an ordinary place—an ordinary childhood shaped by religious conservatism and a sheltered upbringing.

From there the cocoon slowly begins to break.

The world widens.

My life eventually took me to places most tourists never see. Along the way I encountered extreme belief systems, including involvement with—and eventual escape from—a cult. Each stage forced me to confront deeper questions about truth, identity, and faith.

Perhaps this introduction speaks in hints and glimpses.

That is because the full story unfolds gradually.

The Journey Ahead

Join me as I trace the path of the first half of my life—its successes and tragedies, its adventures and mistakes.

The journey begins where all stories begin:

with the early years.

Journey Ahead

Join me for the next chapter in my book: The Early Years