Ohana

Families - God’s way of provision 

By: Henry Badenhorst

23 May 2017

We are family...

The TV series Hawaii Five 0 is a favorite of my wife and me, and we watch it repeatedly, not only for its great cinematography and beautiful Hawaii scenery, but also because we are drawn to the friendships and sense of family, or as they say in Hawaii, Ohana, that is evident among the team members. For the last couple of years, we have been going through a particularly rough patch with regards to relationships. Upon our return from Saudi Arabia, we have been unable to procure any employment in South Africa. There are various political reasons if one wants to make sense of it in worldly terms, but we believe now that God has stripped us of many worldly and materialistic things. He has placed us in an incubator, separated from others, to purify us, strengthen us and grow us. It has certainly been a humbling experience filled with pain and disappointment. We have lost our car, and since we have zero income, we stay with our parents, dependent literally for every physical need. For two people with 4 degrees between the two of them, being 43 years old, having to rely and depend on others again, like a baby, is challenging beyond words.

It is no surprise then that we lose ourselves in escapism, like watching TV. In particular, we have grown fond of Hawaii Five 0, because we can experience that which we lack with the characters of the show. So, what is this Ohana I referred to earlier on? We heard the term so many times that I went to investigate.

According to Wikipedia (online) is Ohana much more than just a word for family. It is not only used for blood-related family but also close family friends. It is part of Hawaiian culture. The concept Ohana emphasizes that families are bound together and that members must cooperate and remember one another. The term is similar in meaning and usage to the New Zealand Māori term whānau, and it's cognate in Māori is kōhanga, meaning "nest".

The cartoon character Lilo Pelekai in Lilo & Stich explains Ohana as follow: ʻOhana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind — or forgotten.” It reminds me of the Navy Seals code that no man gets left behind.... especially behind enemy lines.

What is the purpose of families? Why did God create families? I read this CBN (online) devotional, entitled “Successful Families” and I would like to highlight certain points the devotional made:

• Families fail to measure up to the ideal picture of a family in many ways.
• God gave us a picture of His ideal family (one that goes far beyond outward appearances, and one that reflects His special relationship to His people). 
• The human family serves as a picture of God Himself. 
• The family, in other words, is there to show people what our heavenly family will be like. It should be a shadow of things to come. The family is a sketch of what is in store for us in heaven. It is a place where you can discover the image of God.
• A family is an example to believers and unbelievers alike of the love and acceptance we have from God.
• Jesus referred to Himself as our brother. He said that anyone who does His Father's will is His brother and sister and mother (Matthew 12:48-50).
• Scripture says that as children of God we become intimately related to one another (Romans 8:16) and that fellow Christians become our brothers and sisters.
• A family should be a place where you can go, no matter what you've done wrong, and still be loved. It is a place of refuge and comfort. It is home is where you can find love, acceptance, and forgiveness.
• Even though the prodigal son left his home, squandered all his riches, and everyone else turned away from him, his father still welcomed him home with open, loving arms (Luke 15:11-24). This is an example of the "everlasting love" of God (Jeremiah 31:3) shown in Jesus' death for us "while we were yet sinners" (Romans 5:8).
• We are besieged with all kinds of pressures in today's world that can produce family conflicts. The world encourages divorce and separation rather than resolution of conflict. Satan is working harder than ever to destroy our families through these conflicts.

families that 'swim together' stick together

It is this strong desire for this kind of family that makes us watch this show repeatedly. I look at the close bonds they have with each other, the sacrifices they are willing to make to literally save each other’s lives at times. We are drawn by this unconditional love they have for each other, how their ‘little family’ comes first, how they are eager and willing to defend this relationship, how they prioritize each other. I watch the show and see all of that and then I draw the line through to our lives and I see a different reality. My reality is that I don’t have a blood family that is willing to accept me, comfort me, love me, forgive me or provide a refuge for me in times of trouble. Instead, they not only withhold these crucial desires, they actively attack, criticize, exclude and persecute you in addition.

If people behave toward each other in contradiction to what God prescribes; if family members say they are followers of Christ, but they disregard in totality God’s commands to love members of their family, can they claim to be Christian? If God is love, can someone say he loves God if he doesn’t even love his neighbor, not even mentioning his brother? Can we claim to follow Him if we neglect the intended structure within which He created us?

How then should we love? How should we behave towards our families?

I came across this very convicting scripture in 1 Tim 5:8: “Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” It hit me between the eyes. God states that our family, our blood is our first priority. Here is what Jesus said about prioritizing family:

• Matthew 15:3-9 (NIV) – “Jesus replied, ‘And why do you break the command of God for the sake of your tradition? For God said, ‘Honor your father and mother’ and ‘Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death.’ But you say that if anyone declares that what might have been used to help their father or mother is ‘devoted to God,’ they are not to ‘honor their father or mother’ with it. Thus you nullify the word of God for the sake of your tradition. You hypocrites! Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you: ‘These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. They worship me in vain; their teachings are merely human rules’.

• Matthew 23:23 (NIV) - “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former’.

Families are far from perfect....but they celebrate and accept their differences

Love, mercy, justice should outweigh traditions, rules, and religion. The family carries a higher weight than religion and traditions. Taking care of and loving your family is a prescription from God’s word and we cannot nullify it with our traditions and rules that are love-less. The instructions and commands found in God’s Word is based on two things, firstly love for God, and secondly loving your neighbor as yourself

So if God created families as a structure within which we should function, and if He commands us to prioritize these family structures as His will for our lives, why is the family structure crumbling in today’s modern society? Satan attacks the family structure, by bringing conflict, separation, and destruction to the unity of the family. Divide and conquer. The church as the spiritual family is attacked the same way, by creating division, the church would then be devoid of its unity and love, and is bound to fail.

My question is: Where is the concept of Ohana in our Christian family structures? If a society, like the Hawaiian culture, has a concept like Ohana by which they live, why is not so evident in the church and in Christian families. The Hawaiian culture worships spirits and honor forefathers, yet we as Christians can learn from them about love and family. We should be setting the example of true love, yet it is the Eastern and African religions that set the tone of what love and family is. Should it not be the church that communicates this concept to the world?

Even though it’s just a TV show, Hawaii Five 0 has created in me a longing for true family. A family that will stand by you no matter what, that will give you a place of refuge in times of trouble, instead of criticism; a family that will not leave you behind. It is commanded in God’s Word that families come first in God’s Kingdom. You cannot claim to love God if you don’t honor and love the family He has placed you in. You have a responsibility to take care of and provide for your family in need. If you neglect that command, you are worse than an unbeliever.

At this point, we experience a lot of caring ‘words’. “Go and be well fed my brother, I will pray for you” but there is no action to help and assist. Talk is cheap. Love is an action word. Jesus did not speak love only, He did things for people. He healed people, He provided when they had a need. Love is a verb. If you love others outside your family, but neglect to love those closest to you, you miss the point. You should be practicing the former without neglecting the other.

In the end, it was not my blood family that came to our rescue, but the family that I married into. They are not bound by blood, yet they show me kindness, love, and acceptance. They are obedient to the voice of God and His will for families. God placed me in a family that has accepted me because they are His children. God does place the lonely in a family. The sadness for me personally is that my own blood does not have the same unconditional love and care for me. Can they claim that they serve the same God as the ‘family’ that adopted me? It is not for me to judge. God’s word will judge us all in the end. I hope that if one of my own falls into a pit, and needs help, I will not fall short of his expectation to help.

If you are in a similar situation where you are being rejected and disappointed by blood relatives, who claim to be followers of Christ, but does nothing except criticize you, is my hope that you will fix your eyes on Jesus, the author, and perfecter of your faith. He will provide a family for you in your hour of need. So chin up. Forgive the Job’s friends in your lives, for they do not know what they are doing. You are part of God’s family. He is your source. HE is your Ohana.

He's my brother.....

Bibliography

CBN, 2017. Successful Families. Available at: http://www1.cbn.com/successful-families [Accessed on 23 May 2017].

Wikipedia, 2017. Ohana. Available at: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ohana [Accessed on 23 May 2017].